EMDR Questions: Can I Do It Wrong?

One of the most frequently asked questions during EMDR sessions is, “Am I doing it right?” In this post, I would like to offer some reassurance and clarify expectations around what is supposed to happen during EMDR processing.

The short answer is that there is no particular response you are expected to produce. People process memories and painful experiences in different ways. Your experience is your experience, and that is OK.

However, because EMDR is quite different from traditional talk therapy, it can require an adjustment in expectations. EMDR is thought to support new learning and the more adaptive processing of distressing experiences, although the precise mechanisms involved continue to be researched. Rather than trying to make something happen, the task is generally to notice what emerges and report it as honestly as you can.

During the processing phase, when we use bilateral stimulation such as alternating eye movements, tapping or auditory tones, the memory may feel close at times and more distant at others. Other memories may emerge that seem associated with the same experience or pattern. During some sets, you may be more aware of feelings in your body; during others, you may notice thoughts, emotions or images.

At times, very little may seem to happen. Your mind may go blank, you may struggle to visualise the memory, or you may feel uncertain about what you are noticing. These experiences do not mean that you are doing EMDR incorrectly. It is helpful to let your psychologist know what is happening so that the process can be paced or adjusted if needed.

Whatever comes up, you do not need to force it or give the response you think is expected. I will help guide you through the process, monitor how you are responding and support you in working in a way that is manageable for you.